I have learned a concrete truth through various challenges I have personally faced lately. People are simply going to talk, people are going to be how they wish to be with no discretion or apology. You can not always talk them into another way of being. It is frustrating to deal with people who seemingly have no connection with reality and/or human feelings. We learned as children, and we often tell our children, "Sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." I beg to differ. While obviously, there are some meaningless words that we can let roll off, while a greater portion are difficult to hear, much less forget. Our words hold great power. They can positively mold people. They can also completely dismantle a person with one single sentence. I am a firm believer that what is in your heart will not only spill out through the doors of your mouth, but ooze into how you treat others.
I have unfortunately been a person who has said things that I wished I could take back and I have also been on the receiving end of some of the most cruel vocabulary. It is very hard to forgive someone, especially when they repeat this offense numerous times over, leaving you feeling disfigured with each and every conversation. You constantly feel as if you are being bombarded by lies, cruelty, selfishness, attacks and unfounded notions. I often feel that conversations of this nature cause a little piece of who I am to fall away, never to be found again. I feel as if I am disintegrating. I despise being left to feel this way after speaking with people who say they 'love' you. Love should be given, lived, shared, and taught. Not used as decorative sprinkles on a compost cupcake. It takes no talent to sit back picking people apart for everything they do and everything they don't do to your personal standards.
I feel that life is a interesting thing. We all get dealt a different hand, and how we choose to face our challenges is up to us, not our spouse, parents, children or friends. It's a personal decision to sift through it, and you have two simple choices. Either you will be better for it, or you will sink and drown in it. I honestly do hurt for those that can not seem to grasp the 'branches' to save themselves from a rough road. In most cases when someone can not rise above trials, they often like to blame people that are closest in relation to them for their sorrow and misfortune. So that is where my heart truly goes out. It goes out to the people that are unrightfully plagued with blame, guilt, and cruelty. It is unfair to wallow in a circumstance that you created all your own, and the only thing that you can seem to do with it, is blame innocent people. Is it not time to swallow your pride and own your wrongdoing? Is it not time to respectfully ask for forgiveness from those that you have inflicted so much heartache to? Is it not time to realize that Father Time isn't slowing down the hands of time, what you have today is all that you can for sure count on? Why not rebuild, rather than tear down?
I also find a great injustice is when someone decides they will live the life they wish to live, taking no thought of how it will affect those they love in the long haul. Never considering that by being selfish they will cause people to question their own worth, wrestle with insecurity, leave them defeated, and if it goes on long enough, future relationships on many levels will suffer because they are emotionally crippled by what they have dealt with. Even more harsh, is when someone realizes how deep hurts run, and they ignore it. Just because you do not like something in life, or because you can't handle a situation, does not give you the right to rip apart others. Yes we are all human beings, we will all fail at this miserably at some point, there is no denying it. But, the fault is found in whether or not you stuff this less than desirable situation in a ziploc bag, cram it into your freezer to keep it.
I suppose I needed to get this off of my chest. Words are more important than our credit scores, they ultimately define us heavily in the eyes of others. I love games better than anyone, but the one I could live without, and so could everyone else, is the Blame Game. This game will never have a winner. Living arrogantly as if our decisions only affect us personally is worse than having 5 golf tees left in the Cracker Barrel game.
So I must say, that I deal with things regularly and I also know that there are many people who suffer in silence. I pray for these people and the people that bring about heartache. Because we serve a Great God, lets make it a point to pray over our friendships and relationships-- nothing but good could ever come from doing that!
